Vista may be capable, but Microsoft isn't

By | PC Advisor | 24 November 08

The Vista Capable class-action law suit is the gift that keeps on giving.

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In April 2007, two Seattle area consumers, ticked off at buying new machines labeled "Vista Capable" that were anything but, sued Microsoft for using deceptive "bait and switch" tactics in its marketing. It became a class-action suit last February.

Since then, Ballmer & Co have done everything humanly possible to implicate themselves except lead the police on a high-speed chase while driving a white Bronco with $10,000, a fake beard, and a shovel in the trunk.

The emails that have emerged as evidence have been damning.

Last February, we learned from internal Microsoft emails that the company's own execs were teed off by Windows Vista's performance (or lack thereof). Former Windows czar Jim Allchin even worried that changing the labeling requirements would mislead consumers.

(Microsoft mislead consumers? Next you'll be telling me that Bill Gates hates churros.)

This week we heard from Hewlett-Packard, which invested beaucoup bucks in machines that could take advantage of the Aero Glass interface - the one feature of Vista even Microsoft's critics agreed was mega-cool - to meet the standards for the "Vista Capable" label.

And then Microsoft "relaxed" those standards, slapping that label on systems using an old Intel 915 graphics chip set that couldn't possibly keep up, simply because Intel had a backlog of older chips it needed to move. You could see the steam coming off some of HP's emails, as PC Advisor sister title Computerworld's Gregg Keizer notes:

"I hope this incident isn't a foretaste of the relationship I will have with Microsoft going forward, but I can tell you that it's left a very bad taste with me and my team," Richard Walker, senior vice president at HP's consumer PC unit, said in a February 1, 2006, message to senior Microsoft executives.

The moral here: Don't turn your back on Redmond, unless you want to be ****** in the ****.

See also: HP enraged by 'Vista capable' changes

(Kicked in the keister, of course. What did you think I meant?)

Now Ballmer may have to take the stand in his and Microsoft's own defence. That ought to be rich.

So far, Ballmer has employed the Sergeant Schultz "I know nothink" defence.

Attorneys for the litigants want to find out what Ballmer didn't know and when he didn't know it. Of particular interest is what Ballmer and Intel honcho Paul Otellini discussed in a phone call back in January 2006, when Intel was chomping at the bit to get Microsoft to change its labeling requirements.

Microsoft is doing everything it can to keep Ballmer out of the witness box, lest he pick up a chair and heave it across the courtroom. At the same time, its coven of highly paid attorneys are trying to drive a wooden stake into the heart of the suit, in essence arguing that a) people who bought Vista Home Edition machines should have known they would suck, despite the label hardware makers glued to the box; and b) Microsoft gained no market advantage by deceiving consumers changing its labeling requirements.

Like OJ, Microsoft might yet win the case - despite what the evidence suggests. When you can afford to hire Wolfram & Hart as your attorneys, you can fend off anything but the apocalypse. But in the minds of anyone who's read those emails, they've already lost. And ultimately that's the bigger battle.

See also: Windows 7 review

Robert X Cringely blogs for PCWorld.com

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Comments

Gary T. said: I remember this tubeHe whanked on about how he played in a band or took photosPlus he banged on about a sniffing period based around a Panty People dancing girl

Jock said: Is the forum still run by the same guy who used a stock photo of a male model instead of a genuine photo of himself on the Staff pageHe was crap if I rememberAlways went on about how Vista was superbA Prat really

Matt Egan said: Er yeah Thanks Thats not the story I heard

FEfido? said: Naw hes even slower than youAt least you try your hand

Matt Egan said: Oh It was all a joke GeniusAnd there was me thinking you were indulging in your usual tired ranting against the PCA machine seeing conspiracy everywhere hiding behind made up names thinking that makes you anonymous and then backing down whenever youre challenged on anything even though no-one actually understands a word you say You got me good insert name hereHow come you dont play with the big boys in the forum

Mark G. said: Great entertainment guysJust love it

Keep up; over a million are wa said: HookerMore like as in hooklinesinker sir

Matt Egan said: Still Laughing - significantly more than a million people are interested enough to visit us each month including you so laugh it up

Matt Egan said: Hooker your real name then FiguresAh backing down As I suspected

Still Laughing said: I was going to make a Facebook side swipe at You actually believe this stuff is interesting to anyone other than your own lonely self but I valiantly resistedOnly moments later to see the latest heavyweight Blog Why Facebook users reveal too much

Hooker said: Matt your anti-viral scanner is set to a very delicate and sensitive level and is really producing false positivesI was initially going to write sickening and leant or skewed take but felt sickening and bent would paint a better pictureLooks like you well and truly bought the piece for the wrong reasons mateSince you mentioned it I do care when buyers are sold faltering computer systems with the help of the evangelical computer press pack only to be later told in arsen talk I did not see itIt is simply due to honest unfettered independent observers and unhappy outspoken users that has resulted in Vistas rapid demiseWindows 7 we will see

Matt Egan said: Amusing when one looks back at PCAs sickening and bent take on Vistas first year and longer to the current soundtrack of AngelsYou actually believe this stuff is interesting to anyone other than your own lonely selfThe amusing thing is that you care so much Find me an example of something sickening and bent clue you cant Alternatively explain exactly what you mean by PC Advisor being sickening and bent Got the bottle to do it under your actual name So much the betterTrouble is I actually know that the only bentness is in your mind so you have a choice between backing down or committing libel Either way suits me

Dock'en Leaf comes to sooth th said: A very good morning teamAlways delighted to see Matt participating within a n others blogAnd dont forget to drop XP or Vista into your next blog otherwise it be back to credit crunch levels of team morale Amusing when one looks back at PCAs sickening and bent take on Vistas first year and longer to the current soundtrack of AngelsNearly forgot Excellent and honest work Robert X

Matt Egan said: Judging geddit by the inane ramblings you insist on visiting upon PCAdvisorcouk - which we tolerate only for the huge boost they give to team morale - only one of us has his sheets stuck together

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