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Today's April Fools' Day technology pranks

News Editors the world over are on high alert this morning, and not because of Conficker. Mischievous marketing departments at some of the world's biggest companies are embracing April Fools' Day with a selection of press releases designed to hoodwink the masses, and no journalist wants to get caught out.

So, here's our list of today's best (and worst) technology April Fools' Jokes.

Google launches laptop - with telepathic interface

You may have feared Google already knew what you were thinking. With access to your searches and web history, the search engine giant is a constant target for privacy activists. So what will they make of the 'telepathic laptop', which features a 'built-in brainwave-reading chip'? (See Twitter for the reaction)

Opera Face Gestures

If controlling your computer telepathically brings a smile to your face, let's hope you're not using it to browse the web with Opera - otherwise you might get some unexpected results. The Norwegian browser developer today launches Opera 10 Face Gestures, which enables anyone with a webcam to control their browser moving only their face. (See the reaction on Twitter)

Guardian goes Twitter only

After 188 years of ink, The Guardian is to become the first newspaper in the world to be published exclusively via Twitter, condensing all news stories and features into 'tweets'. Not content with publishing all new material using just 140 characters, The Guardian has also embarked on a mammoth project to rewrite the whole of the newspaper's archive, stretching back to 1821. For example: 'OMG Hitler invades Poland, allies declare war see tinyurl.com/b5x6e for more'; and 'JFK assassin8d @ Dallas, def. heard second gunshot from grassy knoll WTF?' (See the Twitter reaction)

Explosive Anti-theft device from Proporta

Following a spate of highly publicised incidents involving the loss of sensitive data by government officials, UK-based accessories producer, Proporta, has confirmed that it is working with British security forces on an explosive new anti-theft mechanism, which it plans to incorporate into its range of protective cases for smartphones, MP3 Players and laptops. Sticky fingered technology fans who pinch a gadget encased in a Proporta 'Fugu Case' will soon be exposed, when a small explosion instantly inflates the case to as much as twenty times its normal size, thus deterring the thief and alerting the owner to the potential theft.

Windows Messenger Automatic Mood Detector

Fed up of using keyboard shortcuts for emoticons when expressing sarcasm, wit or displeasure in an IM conversation? Enter Microsoft. The software giant has launched an alpha version of Automatic Mood Detection for Windows Live Messenger, which monitors your real-time physiological state and translates that into a mood (happy, sad, anxious, etc), so you'll never have to enter an emoticon again. The service determines your mood using a body heat monitor, webcam and a keypad pressure sensor and appropriately inserts emoticons/phrases directly into your messages. (See the Twitter reaction)

The Pomegranate phone

Forget that other fruit-based handheld convergence device - can your Apple iPhone make calls? Sure, but so can the Pomegranate phone. And the iPhone hasn't got projector capabilities. Nor can it translate calls from across the globe, on the fly.

Pomegranate phone

The Pomegranate N508 can do all of these things, as well as brewing coffee, and shaving your wonderstruck face. That's right, the Pomegranate is the 'only smartphone in the world that can make coffee'. And if you get bored, you can use it as a harmonica.

Google CADIE

Google CADIEGoogle's having a busy day. The company last night switched on the world's first real artificial intelligence system. CADIE (Cognitive Autoheuristic Distributed-Intelligence Entity) is a computer that's come alive and will soon have a major influence on various google.com properties, according to the company's researchers. Fear not if the technology behind CADIE seems hard to comprehend - Google has done its best to outline the breakthrough in layman's terms. This Google blog describes the development as "a powerful new technique for solving reinforcement learning problems, resulting in the first functional global-scale neuro-evolutionary learning cluster". See CADIE's home page here, and the Twitter reaction here.

Laptops for funerals

Laptops Direct has got into the spirit of things, launching a 'Laptops for funerals' campaign in which it offers to pay to give your loved-ones the send off they deserve. They'll contribute £250 to sponsor the vicar's dog collar, and £500 to stick Laptopsdirect flags on the funeral hearse. See this YouTube clip for more.

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