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Naive romantic crushed, mocked

Get ready to laugh: someone else has let their emotional guard down and been torn to pieces via the medium of email. Hooray!

A Berkshire web designer – whom the usually informal nerd press are insisting on calling 'Mr Dobbie' in a cheap attempt to make him sound a bit like 'Mr Blobby' and thus diminish him further – made the mistake of emailing a girl he met at a party and putting in some, well, laughably sentimental guff about special moments and time standing still.

What happened next? Well, we rather gave that away in the opening paragraph, but let's go through the motions: yes, the recipient of the email forwarded it to her sister, who sent it to her friends, who passed it on to their friends. And before long everyone in London had received a copy. Quite a few of them had got it twice.

Doesn't sound so bad? Alright, here's a sample.

"Your smile is the freshest of my special memories. Regardless of whether we see each other again, I will use it as I do my other special memories. I will call on it when I am disheartened or low. I will hold it in my heart when I need inspiration. I will keep it with me for moments when I need to find a smile of my own."

You see the problem.

So what have we learned, other than the fact that we live in a cold robot world bereft of sincerity and romance? Firstly, that you should never put anything in an email you don't expect to be read by the entire world by the end of the day. And secondly, that you can't trust people you meet at parties.

Be safe.

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