When PC Advisor Blog heard that Rockstar had softened the blind, unremitting violence in Manhunt 2 to get it reclassified for sale, we were so angry we could have stabbed ourselves in the neck with a shard of glass.
But we feel much better now. Why? Because we've just heard that, according to IGN, which has tried out the notoriously sadistic video game both before and after the amendments, not much has changed. Hooray!
So how did Rockstar squeeze its nasty little baby into the Mature category, thus ensuring first-party support from Sony and Nintendo and the right to stock the game on Wal-Mart's sanctimonious shelves? Apparently, by downgrading the popular stealth kill moves from 'shockingly bloodthirsty' to 'disappointingly unclear'. Boo!
For the uninitiated, the Manhunt games reward successful sneaking manoeuvres with 'scripted' death sequences of occasionally breathtaking brutality. In the first game, you could smother your enemy with a plastic bag, for example, or do something uncalled-for with a baseball bat. But now, when you move in for the kill, the screen darkens and the action blurs. How is anyone going to get properly desensitised that way?
Still, it's not all bad news. It's also been announced that there will be a Wii version of Manhunt 2, which means that - at last! - you'll be able to physically act out your murderous fantasies and see them brought to life in (blurry) 3D.
Can't. See. Any. Problem. There.