One rumor has Apple getting physical with iOS gaming; Consumer Reports's ability to hold two contradictory ideas in its head has yet to cause a psychotic break; and an indie movie about Steve Jobs gets half a man as its lead. The remainders for Monday, April 2, 2012 tip their hats to the new constitution.
9to5Mac points to a patent that Apple is working on a "physical gaming controller" that would feature a directional pad, a microphone, and buttons, in addition to a touchscreen. Because what iOS gaming really needs to take off is a device the size of your iPhone that you carry around with your iPhone.
Consumer Reports: Now We Love the iPad (The Mac Observer)
Having previously dinged the new iPad for its heat production, Consumer Reports has now declared Apple's tablet the best on the market. Is it just me, or does Consumer Reports go back and forth more on Apple products than Gollum does on murdering poor, defenseless hobbits?
Apple Increases iAd Payout to Developers to 70% (MacRumors)
Apple said back in February that it would be raising developers' cut of iAd revenues to 70 percent from 60 percent, effective April 1. This in fact turned out to be true, and not the lamest April Fools' prank ever.
Ashton Kutcher to play Steve Jobs (Variety)
In what was also apparently not an April Fools' prank, it seems That 70s Show veteran Ashton Kutcher will be portraying Steve Jobs in an indie film chronicling the late Apple co-founder's life. Rumor has it Charlie Sheen is set to sign on as Steve Wozniak, warlock extraordinaire.