Technology has rewired our brains, altered our expectations, and, frankly, turned us all crazy. How do you know if this has happened to you? Look for the following 21 warning signs.
In the hood
19. You wear a hoodie 24/7 no matter what the temperature and refuse to take it off, lest someone discover the satanic-cult insignia on the inside. Still, you're 26 and a billionaire on paper, and they're making movies about you, so you must be doing something right.
20. You're bummed that Megan Fox ignored your Facebook friend request. Not to worry- that's not really Megan, it's a 20 stone guy in drag. Then again, if 20 stone guys in drag won't even friend you, maybe you have bigger problems.
21. Your boss is threatening to fire you, debt collectors are calling, your significant other 'needs to talk', your mother is on her way over for a visit, and all you can think about is "I wonder if there's an app for that." Hate to tell you, dude, but there isn't - yet.
See also: Confessions of a web user