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How to: Explaining 8 stupid IT buzzwords

Know your Cloud from your Paradigm shift

The computer industry is fond of little more than making up baffling technology buzzwords. So you can tell your paradigm shift from your cloud, and succinctly define Web 3.0, we explain eight of the best/worst.

Buzzword #7: Seamless

Searching Microsoft Outlook archives for PR pitches that offered "seamless" technology nearly broke the computer.

Verizon Business, for example, has offered a product to help companies "seamlessly work between IT groups in order to avoid data breaches".

Apple, meanwhile, boasts that its iTunes store provides "seamless integration with iPod and iPhone". And Sprint has offered to help businesses "make a seamless migration to IP-based services".

Doing things seamlessly is better than doing things seamfully. But don't most people by now assume that if a company is confident enough in its own products that it's already offering seamless transitions? Would any company tell you that its solution is "fraught with perils akin to craggy rocks and whirlpools"?

Buzzword #8: Solution

This buzzword is abused by marketing departments not merely in the tech industry, but throughout the economy as a whole.

In essence, companies routinely push any software, service or product that they produce as a solution. There are many possible reasons for this, but we think that the word "solution" is particularly useful for defusing customer anger if a particular product happens to be really bad.

For example, let's say you have a new piece of software that routinely crashes your computer. When a coworker hears you shouting from your office, "This software is a stinking heap of garbage!" he can interject and say, "Wait, isn't it actually a solution you're talking about? If so, then by definition it can't be at fault, because it's already solved your problems."

And as you try to wrap your brain around this logical conundrum, you forget why your "solution" made you so frustrated in the first place. Problem solved!

Business IT reviews and advice

  1. Know your Cloud from your Paradigm shift
  2. Are you being disruptive? That may cause a paradigm shift...
  3. Your starter for 10 - define Cloud computing and Web 3.0...
  4. That threat, will it blend? Ask a prosumer
  5. Finding a seamless solution

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