Hopefully this covers the lot and it'll stop now( I'm hoarse laughing!!)

Some one got their finger (hoof) out quickly...

1. A woman has been taken to hospital after eating horse meat burgers. Her condition is said to be stable.
2. Is it only the mini-burgers that contain horse meat? You know, the horse d'oeuvres.
3. Are you in favour of horse meat in your burgers? Yea or Neigh?
4. A Tesco burger walks into a bar and says "Pint please". "I can't hear you" says the barman. "Sorry" replies the burger, "I'm a little bit horse".
5. Those Aldi horse burgers were nice, but I prefer My Lidl Pony
6. Scientist: "Sir, we've discovered horse meat in your burgers." Tesco boss: "Why the long face?".
7. There was an old woman who swallowed a horse, she'd been to Tesco, of course.
8. I really hope they launch a steward's inquiry into the Tesco horse meat scandal. We must find out hoof to blame.
9. I get all my horse meat from an independent dodgy butcher.
10. Has anyone tested Tesco's veggie burgers for uniquorn yet?
11. 29% of the meat content in Tesco's hamburgers turns out to be horse. No wonder they gave me the trots!
12. Horse meat in Tesco burgers: it's been in there a fur-a-long time!
13. Best burger recipe: mince meat, garlic powder, paprika, fresh herbs, an egg and fine diced stallions ... I mean ... scallions.
14. Two Tesco burgers please.. hold the dressage.
15. Just found some out of date burgers... and they're off! > 17. I got fired from the meat factory because I got an e-mail about a delivery of horse meat and I marked it as spam.
16. Apparently there's a poll of Tesco's customers to find their opinions on horse meat ... conducted of course by Gallup.
17. So horse meat has been found in Tesco burgers. What's next? Traces of zebra in barcodes?
18. Tranquillisers: every little helps.
19. You can lead a horse to the industrial size meat grinder, but you can't sell him in Tesco.

20. Good thing about these horse puns is it's stopped all the sick Jimmy Saddle jokes.

    And lastly:

    Conversation in Macdonalds:- I'll have a burger please! Yes Sir, would you like anything on it? Yes please – Five quid each way!

I'm not remotely interested hearing that cheap burgers contain horsemeat,a local burger-van used to sell burgers that smelled so rancid I would frequently gag when people got in my taxi clutching a burger,I did consider reporting the van owner to trading standards until I realised that nowhere on his signage did it state they were beefburgers,& on examining a discarded box from his van the ingredients label had chicken/pork & cereal as the main content.The UK has some very picky eaters,whereas my only problem with this story is if they were labelled beefburgers.They weren't,they were cheap grotty burgers and would probably taste great to anyone after 15 pints(though I pity the cabbie who picks up the burger-munching drunk,as the burgers will possibly still smell as rancid)

So what is an economy burger?

With a minimum percentage of beef only required to be 47%, didn't we all really know that there must be a lot of something else in them? In reality they're just a beef sausage equivalent, but flat instead of tubular.

I do buy burgers myself, but of the premium supermarket ranges that usually specify being made from Aberdeen Angus or a similar premium beef breed. Not because I won't eat horse meat, but simply because they are many times much nicer to eat, even the quality of the seasoning is much better than the rat variety. With these products available it's not worth the bother of making them myself, and they are quite easy to make yourself.

I still say if there's a legal case to be answered, it's to do with food labelling regs only.

Quickbeam. I normally buy my burgers from Aldi as I find most of their stuff is good quality. But I don't think they or the other supermarkets can be blamed if some "spiv" of a firm does the dirty on them by using other fillings than the ones specified. I intend to carry on buying from Aldi. I shall also consume the one burger I have left from them which is in my freezer.