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It has been brought to my attention that some people deny my existence.


Father Christmas
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It's a busy time here at my North-Pole workshops,and the last thing I expected to have to do was register with a computer magazine web-site to deal with a report that people are saying I don't exist.

As you can all see, I'm very much alive,and working hard to get everything ready for the big night when as always I'll be delivering presents to children everywhere. I'm posting a message here to reassure all those boys and girls that - contrary to what some spoilsports might try to tell you - I'm real enough,and will be there without fail on Christmas Eve. Don't forget to leave a carrot or two for my reindeer, and if you fancy adding a small nip of something warming for me it will help keep out the winter chill.

Best wishes to you all for a Happy Christmas and a peaceful New year.

Father Christmas

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Brumas

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Bing.alau, I'm surprised you didn't comment on my thread posted Yesterday at 10:54PM, unless of course you have already got one ;o}}

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Bing.alau

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Brumas. Sorry to say that I do not understand a word of that comment. Is it in Cockney slang? If so I am still at a loss. I agree with the bit about needing protection for my poor old bonce. Better late than never I suppose.

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Father Christmas

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Sapins

Present? yes,I suppose I do, but not in the conventional sense.

On Christmas day I get up, feed the reindeer a special meal as a treat for working so hard, and then me and the elves have a couple of nips of North Pole elixir, just to warm us up. After that we all sit down to a Christmas lunch in the workshop storage hall - now empty of presents. We have turkey with all the trimmings, cooked by Mrs.Christmas and her helpers. It's a lively affair, the elves dancing themselves silly (they don't handle the elixir that well), and me making a short speech of thanks to all concerned for their efforts. Once again we've done our job, and children the world over have woken to presents in their stockings and/or under the tree.

After we've finished eating and having fun Mrs. Christmas and I leave them to it and sneak over to our little home. I heap a few more logs on the fire, settle back in my favourite comfy chair,and Mrs. Christmas settles back in hers. Then we both fall sound asleep while the cold arctic wind howls outside. It's the best Christmas present I could have, I assure you.

In the run up to Christmas it's all a hive of activity here. There are toys to package up of course, and the reindeer to exercise daily. If they don't get at least an hour or two of flying practice, with dummy landings on the workshop roof we could be in big trouble come Christmas eve. They're spirited animals, and are inclined to want to dive and swoop through the sky - not something I can allow with a fully loaded sleigh.

There are huge sacks full of letters to open and read - I read every one myself - and routes to plan; we vary our track and flying height, depending on the weather forecasts. Invariably I have to hunt for my magic key, the one that opens any lock, because Mrs. Christmas has a habit of putting it in what she calls 'a safe place' after each Christmas, and a year later she can never remember where that was.

One way and another the time flies by, I can tell you.

There's no GPS system on the present sleigh (We build new ones every five years or so) because we don't need one. The reindeer have a wonderful sense of direction, and once we're airborne it's only necessary for me to look at a location in my present list and think of it; the reindeer read my thought and they do the rest. There are nine of them since Rudolph joined the team in 1939, and he's the natural leader. He hasn't let me down yet, and the light from his nose is a real help when we're making a descent onto a tricky rooftop in foggy weather.

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Chronos the 2nd

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Dear Santa,

Are these facts! fact?

• Santa has 31 hours to do his job on Christmas, thanks to different time zones around the world? To travel around the world's 122 million kilometres in that time, that means Santa's sleigh has to move at a mind-blowing 1,047 km per second-- 3,000 times the speed of sound!

• Santa has to travel with a lot of cargo: Assuming each child gets two pounds worth of gifts, Santa's payload amounts to an astonishing 321,300 tons.

• Santa has to make 822.6 visits a second, so, for each house, that means the fat man has less than 1/1,000th of a second to park the reindeer, shimmy down the chimney, fill the stockings, put gifts under the tree, eat whatever snacks were left for him and get back up the chimney and back to his sleigh before doing it all again.

From a very good boy.

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Bing.alau

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How on Earth do you find time to write all this about your lifestyle etc.? Don't you ever go to bed for a kip?

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Father Christmas

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Chronos the 2nd

Like so many people you're allowing your suspense of disbelief to waver. The 'facts' you have quoted have been around for a long time, and they are mentioned in a lot of the letters I receive from grown-ups (Oh yes, I get many letters from them), but never in the letters that children send. The reason of course is that the children aren't bothered about how I get there as long as I do get there, and of course I always do - my magic isn't something I talk about all the time,but it does come in handy at Christmas.

As for you saying you are 'a very good boy' that's for others to judge, don't you think?

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Chronos the 2nd

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As for you saying you are 'a very good boy' that's for others to judge, don't you think?

Sorry Santa,your quite right.

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Brumas

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Bing.alau Syrup of figs = Wig ;o}

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Forum Editor

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Chronos the 2nd

"Sorry Santa,your quite right."

Someone's trying to curry favour with Santa.

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Flak999

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Dear Santa,

I have read all of your postings here with great interest! Do you participate in many web forums the world over, or are we particularly blessed?

One thing that does occur to me however! When your sleigh and reindeer are crossing the many war zones all over the globe do you worry about being shot down by anti aircraft missiles after being mistaken for a predator drone?

I notice that NORAD track your progress, so maybe they pass on this information to countries which may see you as a UFO, or perhaps your sleigh is fitted with some sort of stealth technology to allow you to beat these unfortunate air threats!

Anyway, I have a request for a Christmas gift! Do you think I could have a new Aston Martin Vanquish please? I have been very good this year as I am sure the Forum Editor will confirm!

Thanks in advance!

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