Have to agree about the turnips I find them the hardest to chop up.Maybe I just need a stronger knife.

Local supermarket sells them already chopped into little squares but I prefer doing them from fresh.

Mind you that's only once a year.

Perhaps it was all that pre-teen practice sawing logs and chopping wood with an axe for the fire, digging up and peeling spuds, turnips, etc. and helping in preparing and cooking dinner for 7 that has enabled me in my adulthood to manage somehow.

But then we'd never heard of a 'Take-away' except for the Chip Shop on rare occasions when on an outing.

Is there be a sequel film in the pipeline, The Return Of The Killer Vegetables (well only slightly), staring Brian Blessed and shot on location on a council allotment in Barnsley...?

The only accident of note we had in the Kitchen was when my mother was trying to remove the damn fool plastic wrap from a swede, the knife slipped and she ended up stabbing herself in the hand, blood everywhere.

Moral of the story beware clingfilm it'll get you every time.

Blackhat, sounds about on par with my eye-tooth extraction 10 years ago. Full throbbing double abscess in roof of mouth - 2 months straight of antibiotics had no effect. Tooth extracted (at ordinary Dentist Surgery) through the abscess with no anaesthetic at all. I didn't move or make a sound - I must have been paralysed with pain.