Speakers Corner
It's free to register, to post a question or to start / join a discussion
Ells Bells
Likes # 0
Posted March 23, 2012 at 9:07PM
THE BELL RINGER
After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame
Sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.
The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and
Went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to
Call it a day.
Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he
Was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous.
'You have no arms!'
'No matter,' said the man. 'Observe!'
And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful
Melody on the carillon.
The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found
A replacement for Quasimodo.
But suddenly, as he rushed forward to strike the bell, the armless man
Tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the
Street below.
The stunned bishop rushed down two hundred and ninety five church
Steps, when he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the
Fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moment
Before.
As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked,
'Bishop, who was this man?'
'I don't know his name,' the bishop sadly replied,
BUT HIS FACE RINGS A BELL!'
The following day despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his
Heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the
Bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.
The first man to approach him said, 'Your Excellency, I am the brother
Of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry
Yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him
In this duty.'
The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armless
man's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he
Groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot.
Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy,
Rushed up the stairs to his side.
'What has happened? Who is this man?' the first monk asked breathlessly.
'I don't know his name,' sighed the distraught bishop, but …..
'HE'S A DEAD RINGER FOR HIS BROTHER!'
Likes # 0
Posted March 23, 2012 at 9:26PM
If I Toll you once, I Toll you twice. Jokes don' ring a bell on this site!
The old ones are the best.
Likes # 0
Posted March 23, 2012 at 11:00PM
Grey Goo
It has to be an old one but you Gotta laugh.
Me and my friend should have put in for it.
Likes # 0
Posted March 23, 2012 at 11:02PM
Made a mess of that one I should have said Me and my Girl should have put in for it.
Likes # 0
Posted March 24, 2012 at 9:18AM
I was going to tell the one about Quasimodo and the wok but can hear the sound of the silver mouse ;o}
Likes # 0
Posted March 24, 2012 at 9:31AM
I'm just waiting for AitchBEE to quote the Rolling Stones, " I told you once and I told you twice" from This will be the last time!!
A bit slow AitchBEE
Likes # 0
Posted March 24, 2012 at 9:39AM
rdave13 Sorry - did not see your earlier post - and I hope we are not going to compete with AitchBEE in future song references!!!
Likes # 0
Posted March 24, 2012 at 11:51AM
Brumas. You have got my curiosity going about the "Wok" joke. I seem to remember it in the far reaches of my mind but can't bring it out. Perhaps you can e-mail it?
Likes # 0
Posted March 24, 2012 at 12:01PM
Wok about the wok joke? Wok this way and tell it, I can't be woked easily.
Wok you say? Terrible I know, but wok can I do, 'til I wok to the doctors...
Likes # 0
Posted March 24, 2012 at 5:43PM
You asked for it!
Quasimodo was going out that evening with Esmeralda so he asked his ma what was for tea.
How about Spaghetti Bolognaise? Nah, don’t want garlic on my breath do I.
Fish and chips, I have a nice piece of haddock, nah, don’t fancy it.
Sausage and mash with onions, nah, you know that gives me indigestion.
Look, I have other things to do so make up your mind and with that she went into the kitchen and emerged carrying a wok.
Oh good, that’s what I fancy, a nice chinese.
Chinese be buggered, I’m off to iron your shirt ;o}
Likes # 0
Posted March 24, 2012 at 5:53PM
Brumas. Yes I remember it now, thanks to your re-telling it. But I don't think the FE would bring his silver deleting mouse out just for that. mayhap there is another one you are keeping to yourself? By the way I don't think his silver mouse makes any noise so you couldn't possibly hear it. It's a bit of a sneaky mouse.
Reply to this topic
This thread has been locked.
Check out PC Advisor's other tech forums
Top 5 Most Popular
-
Xbox One launch live video: watch the new Xbox launch as it happened
-
Samsung Galaxy S4 vs Nexus 4 smartphone comparison review: what's the best Android?
-
Samsung Galaxy S4 vs Apple iPhone 5 comparison review
-
Galaxy S4 vs BlackBerry Z10 comparison review - which is best, the Samsung or the BlackBerry?
-
Microsoft Windows 8 review



