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Vista's brilliant. Vista's fantastic. Vista's the best ever...for turning Windows users into Linux users.
I know, I know. Time was when I couldn't get enough. Windows 95 was where it all started. Gotta big rush from all that CD-playing stuff.
An' all 'em Windows. All over the place, they were.
Soon, it wasn't enough for me. I wanted bigger kicks, bigger thrills.
'98 threw me as much thrills as I could handle. I topped out on that sh*t. I was spreadhseeting in the wind with that junk.
And then it wasn't enough anymore. Sure, I wanted Millennium Edition. Sure, I wanted 2000.
But I knew they'd never be enough to satisfy the raging inferno that was burning deep inside of me. I wanted more, way, way more...
And then I got XP. I just shot that big mega-package of brilliantness into my veins and topped out.
Wow, that was one *ell of a high. I rode the wave for weeks, just tabbing my way from one killer app to another.I was in a trance, like.
I was in the tube, man.
It wasn't enough. It's never enough. You always want more.MovieMaker stopped hitting the spot. I couldn't even hit it with Explorer.
Then Vista came along.
I unwrapped that baby, turned her on and watched as she danced before my very eyes. Some say she was blue, but I'm thinking she was kinda green.
I don't know.
I never got that far.
My screen went black and that was the start of it.
OK, I worked out that I had to switch it off and then switch it back on to get a desktop. That's not the worst problem in the world.I could take it. I was big enough to handle it.
But then, I realised that I couldn't switch the computer off again without a hard reset, although that particular problem was resolved when I - eventually - found that my firewire card was stopping soft switch-offs.
So I bought a new firewire card. Heck, man, the thrills were coming again. Just like the ol' 98 days. I was pushin' the envelope.
Until I tried to actually run software.
No, nothing worked. Not my Pinnacle Studio DV editing suite; not my SPSS statistical-analysis package; not my Pro-Evolution Soccer, not my Fahrenheit game, not my anything.
It didn't like my hP Photosmart Printer either.
It left me so empty. I was just a shallow husk, all drained out. The juice had gone, man.
Then, all of a sudden, someone tells me all about a new kind of high that's not based on Windows.
Something called Linux.
I give it a shot. It's good, but not in a "high" sort-of good. It's just good.
For the first time in my life I feel clean. I don't feel bloated anymore. I can look at that keyboard and feel good about myself.
All my favourite games have gone - but Vista took them away anyhow - yet I can still enjoy everything that 95, 98 and XP gave me.
I've got off that cr*p, man.
I can listen to CDs, watch DVDs, surf the net, make html pages, edit photos, buy from amazon, Internet-Message, render 3D images and more.
I don't get high anymore. I've finally realised that my computer does all that I want it to do. No fuss, no bother.
You know, man. I had to write this sh*t. I had to tell you my story. There's a lot of guys out there who'll think it's bull.
Windows Vista showed me the light
Choose Linux. Choose Life.
Hi Linus, how's it going? :D
I thought the whole way through this "what the hell is this rubbish" but....
Then I read your last part "Windows Vista showed me the light....Choose Linux. Choose Life." and that made me laugh.
So thanks for making me laugh this early on a Sunday morning.
A fantastic tale,I am moved.
If only I had your guts,your will power,strength.
You inspire hope in us all.
As a token of your inspirational post,I am going to have it tattooed on my earlobe.Not sure which one as yet.
Use your own willpower, your inner strength...defy convention and go for the right earlobe.
They'll talk about you, but show you're a real Rapscallion. Right.
I'm not Mr Torvalds.
I've never heard of him.
My gratitude knows no bounds.
OK, I take it all back.
Vista's great and I'm using it now.
Feck. Crashed aga...
Choose to send error report?
Send Send,you know you want to.
Go on there Raps. You know you want a bit of Linux yourself.
Let yourself go. Now you've got your right earlobe tattooed there's no holding you back.
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