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Yesterday we set off nice and early to attend my brother's wedding, really not an event we were looking forward to, but you have to go to a family wedding no matter how weird the future sister in law is.
Within a mile the sat nav gave up the ghost with a strong burning smell, turns out that iPod lighter charger thingies are only for iPods, they give out 12v 1amp, whereas USB devices need 5v.
Luckily we have a redundant Sat Nav for just such an occassion tucked away in a drawer in the Caravan, so we pulled over into a layby and I popped into the caravan to retrieve the old Navman.
All was then well until we hit the wilds of Astley Road in Irlam, this is without doubt the worst road I've seen outside of Eastern Europe, which is possibly why it's not on Google Street View. It's roller coaster style surface looks like it's taken a cluster-bomb strike,and seriously tested the caravan hitch.
Well after driving the mile to my brother's farm at less than 10mph we parked up, dropped the caravan and left for the wedding at the Willows.
Amazingly we were an hour early, and had a good chat with other guests, now comes problem 3, the Guinness was off, so I had to settle for Tetleys from a nitro-keg, a truly evil concoction.
12:30 comes, 30 minutes to the wedding and the best man asks my brother for the rings, oh dear, he's left them at home, down the big dipper. What should have been a 15 minute each way drive actually took a bit over an hour, so the wedding was 30 minutes late before it started.
Then during the vows the registrar had to tell my brother off for chatting.
Then we go upstairs for the wedding breakfast, and the guinness which was fixed downstairs is now off upstairs (3rd floor, no lift), so the centuries old bar maid had to go downstairs to get me a pint (I didn't know she was doing this, I thought she'd gone in the back to get someone).
Next, no vegetarian option for my girlfriend, just roast beef & yorkshire pud.
And to top it all one of my cousins has found out where I live and invited herself up for a holiday.
Overall, as we suspected when the sat nav was killed, we should just have turned round and gone home...
but looking at it another way - not from your own point of view, of course - your brother got married, so for him I guess it was a very happy day.
... and it was your brother that got the weirdo not you - so count your blessings :)
Oh yes, it was a very happy day for him, and I sincerely hope this marriage continues to be much happier than his last one...
Sorry, but what an old moaner you sound!
Basically, the beer was temporarily off, the barmaid was 'centuries old' (is this a crime?), you didn't have the sense to tell your brother that your girlfriend was vegetarian and you needed to do an extra trip, for your brother, to collect the rings.
Why the heck your cousin actually wants to come and visit you is beyond my understanding!
"we should just have turned round and gone home..." Wonder if the rest of your family might have appreciated that, too?
Sorry to bring you down.
My brother, and his new wife, know that my girlfriend is vegetarian, and she was one of several in the room.
Wendy had her head so far in the clouds planning the "perfect wedding" she forgot to consider the guests. If you watch Bridezillas on TV you'll see that this is a growing trend for women who become borderline psychotic whilst planning a perfect wedding that costs so much money any student loan they might have is totally eclipsed...
badgery, not a fan of Jack Dee or Tony Hancock type humour then.
"...this is a growing trend for women who become borderline psychotic whilst planning a perfect wedding that costs so much money any student loan they might have is totally eclipsed..."
With respect, that's up to them, isn't it? So your new sister in law forgot that your wife is a vegetarian, irritating, but hardly the end of the world, is it? She probably had a million other things to think about.
alan14, Enjoyed your narrative and I can appreciate how you felt. Still - the day went well for your brother and bride and you'll have a story to recount for years to come. :)
With respect, she employed the services of a wedding planner to do the planning, surely it is good manners to at least offer a vegetarian option...
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