my daughter accused me of common assault

  worriedmum 13:04 06 May 09
Locked

my stroppy teenage daughter has been giving me lots of attitude lately about me not letting her do exactly what she likes,shes been hanging about with a girl who is known to smoke drink etc over by the near by lakes/park.two wks ago we had a row over me not letting her over there,once again im the worst mum in the world and dont let her do nothing!i asked for her mobile phone as punnishment for her attitude which she then threw at me,i told her to get here n she did but refused to look at me so i pulled her pony tail to make her look at me,told her to show some respect,i let her play out the front but she had sneeked off,2 hours l8r ive got the police at my door arresting me for common assault,her and her brother have been taken by there dad,im facing a trial for what she has accused me of which is beating her and dragging her around by her hair.she has turned my life upside down,social services could be taking away my youngest daughter,and all this so she could go live with her dad who has always said no to her living there.should a 13 yr old girl be in a position to say what she likes to get what she wants?

  Cymro. 13:24 06 May 09

Bringing up children was never easy and teenagers are even worse.
As for what you do now, well to be honest I am not too sure. To start with I suggest that some form of as friendly as possible negotiation with your husband daughter and social services would be as good a place as any to start off with.

There is I am afraid a very good chance that such friendly negotiations are not possible. But you I think must give it a try as once such things get even more out of hand it is very difficult for you to regain lost ground.

If the worst come to the worst then more aggressive steps must be considered. You must then get help from someone who knows what they are about. If you can afford it then try to get a good lawyer who has some experience of such things, rather difficult but must be done.

If like many single mothers you can`t afford a lawyer then get along to the Citizens Advise people. They will put you straight about such things as Legal Aid and may well be able to find you a lawyer.

You will have to be patient as such things can take a long time. Try the friendly option first as such things get even nastier once the lawyers get involved. You may well have a hard time ahead of you so just try not to let it get you down too much.
Best of luck with it all.

  worriedmum 13:40 06 May 09

ive got a trial date set for september,living an absolute nightmare,my life is in total strangers hands,my kids are my life,just cant believe my own flesh and blood would do all this to get her own way.how do i cope?

  oresome 14:11 06 May 09

Teenagers are difficult at the best of times. More so when the parents have parted.

You need some professional help to resolve the situation. CAB as suggested or Social Services would be a good starting point..........but try not to go down the legal route which won't resolve anything.

You need someone who can listen to both sides and get you and your family talking again in a calm manner.

  Forum Editor 23:34 06 May 09

First of all you take great care when seeking advice on a public web forum. None of us is in full possession of the facts, and although I can sympathise with your distress I'm sure you'll be the first to understand that we only have one side of the story - yours. I'm quite sure that you've explained the situation as it is, but we're not in a position to judge.

A thirteen year old girl can be quite a handful, as I know only too well - I have two daughters of my own. They're grown up now, but I can very clearly recall the teen years, and their associated relationship problems.

We're not able to comment on a case that is the subject of a court appearance for obvious reasons, but I urge you to seek legal advice as a matter of urgency. Your future relationship with your children may very well depend on the way you conduct yourself over the next few months, so try to remain as calm and focused as possible. Your emotions are obviously running high at the moment, and that's not a situation that is likely to help in the long run. Your daughter will have plenty of time to reflect on what happened, and what her own part in it all has been, and perhaps a period of separation is a good thing in the long run. It will give you both some time to take stock.

I wish you well, it probably seems as though the world is conspiring against you right now, but things don't have to turn out for the worse. Talk to the total strangers who have come into your life - they'll have faced similar situations in the past, and they may turn out to be more helpful than you imagine.

  carmichy 01:14 07 May 09

Forum Editor
That is one of the best responses I have read and I hope "worried mum" will take heed of what you have said. This forum is not the right place to be asking such advice nor is it aplace for forum members to be responding to it. At least she has been sent in the right direction for advice.

  laurie53 07:11 07 May 09

I agree with your comments about the FE's response, but not with your comment about the forum not being the right place.

It is the first port of call for many people with a problem, and there may be people here who are, or have been, in the same situation.

I agree with all those urging caution, but rational and reasoned responses from people who some see as friends may well induce a reflective period.

  HondaMan 08:54 07 May 09

The first thing you do is see a solicitor. If you can't afford it yourself, then Legal Aid may well be available. The Legal Aid Fund appears to throw money at child care cases especially where the local authority is involved.

You can see a list of solicitors at the CAB or any solicitor or library. Pick one who is a member of the child care panel and arrange to see them urgently. You may find that they have been a local authority solicitor who has now moved into private practice.

Good Luck!

  red1977 09:47 07 May 09

This appears a ridiculous over reaction from the police on the information we have. In a day or so your daughter may regret her actions when she sees the repercussions. The advice to get a solicitor is good. Best of luck :)

  Pine Man 13:59 07 May 09

Have you read the FE's post?

You have immediately made a decision based on worriedmum's post and blamed the police - brilliant!

  worriedmum 10:00 08 May 09

thankyou for all your comments,support and advice

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