mildly amusing

  lignum vitae 07:08 01 Feb 05
Locked

Received the following today which I thought I would share with you.....
Subject: Computers
>
>
> For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
> computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
>
>
> At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
> computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
> with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving
> $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
>
>
> In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
>
> stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
> driving cars with the following characteristics and I just love this
> part):
>
>
> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
>
>
> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy
> a new car.
>
>
> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You
> would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows,
> shut
> off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
> continue.
> For some reason you would simply accept this.
>
>
> 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn
>
> would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case
> you
> would have to reinstall the engine.
>
>
> 5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
> five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only
> five
> percent of the roads.
>
>
> 6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
> replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation"
> warning
> light.
>
>
> 7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.
>
>
> 8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
> and
> refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
> turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
>
>
> 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how
> to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
> same manner as the old car.
>
>
> 10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
>
>
> Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate -
>
> their computer
>
>
>
>
> Jay A. Murray
> Financial Advisor
> Geneos Wealth Management, Inc.
> 720-529-0707

  end 08:10 01 Feb 05

so that"s why my car is behaving in the way that it is:)))

there had to be a reason for its repeated visits to my mechanic:)

and the long queues of vehicles behind me on the roads:)

maybe the car will get up and walk soon too>>>

  Sethhaniel 08:20 01 Feb 05

sounds like you need more 'ram' in it ;)

  end 09:30 01 Feb 05

thats a bit of a "sheepish "remark isnt it::)))

  Sethhaniel 09:33 01 Feb 05

and we all follow like sheep ---
(to the slaughter) ;0

  end 10:17 01 Feb 05

oddly enough;
"Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason"
"You > would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, > shut > off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could > continue. > For some reason you would simply accept this. > > > 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn > > would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, "
"Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out > and > refuse to let you in "

believe it or not as you wish; but my previous car actually did these things,and my car mechanic and I were at a loss to know why; and no, i am not joking; driving alone a motorway and finding you car "die" on you for no apparent reason ( petrol in tank , yes),driving to an oficial function and the car refused to restart for some ten minutes; then take it to my mechanic and it refuses to misbehave:(



well; I did have a Fiat Panda (you know, the police car with the gorgeous blue lights on top?), then changed it to a Sieat (thought the change of name might help), but the Panda knew that trouble was on the way and took umbridge, a fresh pot of paint , and rewrote the rule-book on how a car is supposed to work(so much for computer tehnology::)))

  JaßîsFaß ˜ 12:47 01 Feb 05

I wonder will we soon have to get a tax disc to place on the front of every computer in order to use the internet highways? And submit them for annual MOTs, and insure them incase we proliferate nasties causing damage to others?

  Sethhaniel 13:01 01 Feb 05

well no chance of mine being caught speeding ;) and its a bad starter even on summer mornings :0

  end 13:54 01 Feb 05

Jabisfab

"well no chance of mine being caught speeding "

dont u believe it; a tractor apparently got caught speeding at 90mph on the motorway(with the use of modern technology);yes; I did say 90 mph:)

  Mr Mistoffelees 19:37 01 Feb 05

I wonder if Crucial can sell me an upgrade that will make my car faster?

  Dorsai 19:40 01 Feb 05

Sounds like a description of several cars I have driven. (mostly continental).

I remember a car, not mine, that immolated it's self when I tried to start it. The sight of thick black smoke coming in through the heater vents was enough to make me exit rather fast. I still have the Fire Extinguishers pin on my key ring, to remind me of a lucky escape.

Fortunatly My PC is better behaived.

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