Golf One Liners:-
I'm in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible.
A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.
Chi Chi Rodriguez.
The secret of missing a tree is to aim straight at it.
They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken.
Golf is a good walk spoiled. Mark Twain.
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner,and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. Jack Benny.
Golf is believed to be derived from the Dutch game of Het Kolven. The Scots adapted the game for play on waste land instead of frozen dykes.
Gowf was played in Scotland and the English play Golf. The difference is based on class. The former means 'gentlemen only, women forbidden' while the latter substitutes 'ladies' for women. Those were the days!
One of my favourite golf jokes is about the foursome which included a vicar. One of the other players was getting more and more irate,using strong language. At last the vicar felt he must comment, saying "Please, have some respect for the cloth!" To which the reply came "Cloth be damned, we're playing golf, not billiards". Ah well, never mind...