The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild review: Five hours with Zelda on the Nintendo Switch
I have been hijacked (actually there was no need to hijack me as I enjoy the job)to be Father Christmas at my grandsons Play School. I did the same last year and as he was then only 18 months old I got away without him recognising me. He did have a sort of suspicious look about him and even came up on my knee without the need for any persuasion to do so.
So by now he is two and a half years old and I have seen more of him than I used to. In fact he is at our house most days of the week at some time or other. So the problem now is will he spot that Father Christmas is in fact his grandfather? Any suggestions serious or light hearted as to how do I avoid being spotted and perhaps spoiling Christmas for him and his older sister.
You will need really good makeup on all the skin that shows I think the theatricals call it 'Pan Stick' or maybe 'facepaint' Add that face sparkly glitter stuff as well. Scatter a little glitter in your beard and eyebrows. White bushy eyebrows. If possible use white eyelash mascara. Only have minimal eye area showing, keep your eyes at all times 'scrunched up' wear glasses different to your own usual (maybe paint the frames of an old pair). Pad your cheeks with wadding to make your voice different. Hands, wear white, or red, or black close fitting gloves.
Walk differently, make yourself appear taller or smaller) and do not make eye contact with either grandchildren or any that know you, especially when they are staring at you. Only look at their mouths or tops of their heads when you talk to them.
And Practise, practise so you are comfortable with your 'new' look
Thinking back to my own childhood I can remember what my Grandad smelled like so perhaps a different aftershave may help throw the young one off the scent. (pun intended)
Surely the best thing is for your grandson to realise the bald and simple truth truth... that his ancient crumbling wreck of a grandparent has an alter-ego, and is actually the REAL genuine actual Father Christmas.
I am assuming you are an ancient, crumbling wreck... that might just be unfair ;)
I don't care what your name is, fat man - get that reindeer off my roof.
Seriously though, I think Lotvic has it sewn up. Sadly my experience of visiting Santa with my (now 3 year old) granddaughter is that they are reluctant to have children on their knee any more. A sign if the times perhaps?
canarieslover might have the right idea?.
And don't forget to change your speech pattern. Sounding like Granddad might be a dead giveaway?.
You must be very busy this time of year in lapland?
Maybe you could don a Santa mask, like this one.......
and stuff your cheeks with cotton wool to make your voice sound different (like Marlon Brando in the Godfather).
My local indoor shopping centre has been converted into a Christmas grotto.
There is a real, live, seven foot, SANTA ...I believe...he is Father Christmas...'cos everybody was smiling.
When my eldest daughter was three she attended a play-school, and one year I volunteered to dress up as Santa, and come up the fire-escape to surprise the children.
I walked into a crowd of extremely excited children - my daughter amongst them - and proceeded to sit and talk to each of them about what they wanted 'me' to bring them for Christmas. My daughter - like your grandson - sat on my knee and prattled away happily, no sign of recognition.
Later that day I came home from work, and she rushed to greet me and tell me her news; Santa had called in and asked her what she wanted.I tried to keep the smile from my face when she said 'and you know what daddy? he has a watch just like yours!'
She's an adult now, but she still remembers the occasion, and says she had no idea it was me.
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