you have trouble getting the initial connection you're referring to the wireless connection between the router and the laptop?
The laptop adapter should detect any available wireless networks in range when you boot the machine, and initially you'll need to tell the software to use the network it finds - that's the wireless router. You should usually be presented with a warning dialogue that tells you the network isn't secure, but as it's your own home you can ignore that and tell it to connect anyway. After the first successful connection the laptop adapter should automatically retain the settings and make the connection every time it's booted. The only thing likely to interfere with that process is a deficiency in the signal - due to intervening walls, out of range problems, or other wireless devices transmitting in the vicinity. Microwave ovens do this, as do mobile phones, although I've never had a problem with phones on my own wireless network.