Proof Reader required.

Hello folks,
I would be very grateful if some-one could proof-read a new html document I have prepared for my website. It may not make much sense to anyone unfamiliar with my site and the content therein but if some-one could read through it and tell me if the explanations make sense (or if the sentences are too long winded, muddled or just plain gobblediegook)it would be re-assuring before I actually link to it from the site. (The link at the bottom of the page does lead to the site for anyone interested).

anyway the new document is click here

P.S the favicon y'all helped me out with the other day has been accessed a whole bunch of times already so thanks again.

  Keith 02:58 24 Jan 04

In Issue 2 you need a new sentence as follows:
... actual clock display. The problem ...

In Issue 3 move the space to the other side of the comma as follows:
... changes to the skin, that way you ...

Finally, I'm not sure about the sarky remark about Windows - the rest of the text is so professional!

Apart than that, it's fine. Hope this helps, Keith.

  Sir Radfordin 03:14 24 Jan 04

Issue 1:

the Date ,displayed

You need a space after the , and not before. You have the same problem in Issue 2 "As you will notice ,"


If I were writing such a page I would simply state what the issuse was and then put the resolution.

So for example:

Issue 1:

Date does not update correctly when displayed as a hint (result of howevering the mouse over the clock.)

Solution:

A solution is being worked on. The only work around identified is to restart the clock.

  PurplePenny 10:12 24 Jan 04

In the first sentence od issue three it might be easier to read if the sentence in parentheses were put either at the end of the main sentence or as a separate sentence. (If the latter it can still be in parentheses.)

"whereby" - in this context I think "in which" would sound better. Better yet take Sir R's advice and just state the issue. You do not need "it has come to our attention that", "The second issue whereby" or "is easier to explain".

Windows is a proper noun and should have a capital letter.

Penny

  Forum Editor 10:46 24 Jan 04

in fact I would go a little further in making it easier for the reader to see problem and solution.

Sir Radfordin's suggested format is good - problem, followed by solution, and I would use the word problem instead of "issue" (which I hate, although I use it myself).

I might also think about using different font colours for problem and solution, but that's a personal preference.

  PurplePenny 12:30 24 Jan 04

Yes, I too like to see problem and solution, question and answer in differnt colours.

I don't like "issue" (in this context) either. To me that implies a source of argument or discussion.

Thanks for your help and ideas folks,

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