Phonecalls from dishonest scumbags, purporting to be from Microsoft

  thumbscrew 17:26 PM 23 May 11

I'm sure that many of you will, like me be answering their phones, to discover a hesitant, monosyllabic, deeply suspicious person with an-often impenetrable-Indian accent,lying through their devious teeth by telling you they are from Microsoft.Now we all know that this is a pathetically obvious and useless scam,but speaking as someone who receives daily calls (I'm on my third today),has anyone realised how much fun you can have with these crooked morons? Polite reasoning and requests for them to remove your number from their lists doesn't work, so I confuse, baffle and wind them up until they are reduced to utter helplessness. There's so much fun you can have with these creeps that I actually look forward to their calls, my heart leaps when my phone rings and I get disappointed and almost depressed if I don't get my calls...that's a bad day!I'm particularly proud of my third call today, as I told the goon I practised Black Magic and then put a curse on him, using the "Nowonmai" phrase from "The Exorcist". The sucker before him, found me suddenly speaking in unintelligible gibberish, rather like the Bill and Ben characters ("Ooooh Flobberlop"), from The Flowerpot Men. Gotta phone's ringing!

  lotvic 18:31 PM 23 May 11

It's been awhile now, but my fav answer is to pass them over to the head of the household who mimics a sterling chinese style annoyed chef with machette gobbledegook, asking them questions and pausing for their reply before unleashing another torrent of gobbledegook at them. Don't seem to get any ringing again the next day...

  thumbscrew 21:48 PM 23 May 11

Thanks lotvic...velly intellesting

  Halmer 22:01 PM 23 May 11

A girl I used to work with was recently made redundant. She also had the misfortune of falling at home and ending in hospital.

So there she is sitting at home, in pain financially, physically and mentally when one of these lovely individuals happens to ring and proceeds to rub her nose into it even more.

She feels such a fool for falling for it.

When 'David' had the gall to ring back a week later she told him "I hope your mother is proud of you!" :)

  tullie 04:37 AM 24 May 11

Theres only one way to deal with these calls,hang up.They are well used to people using other methods.

  SparkyJack 09:19 AM 24 May 11

As with Tullie Don't speak just hang up- Microsoft or any other such outfit do not make cold calls, with one possible exception - Serif

A chum has in the past purchased Serif software - which is quite good too - and now finds they have a telesales splurge from time to time.

  Al94 22:57 PM 25 May 11

I'm told a loud whistle kept near the phone works.

  AroundAgain 23:42 PM 25 May 11

I have to admit to 'winding them up' on one of these 'microsoft' calls, whereby I have, apparently, got problems with slow internet connection.

The chap with the 'accent' asked the usual questions. I decided to act very naively, ie Female, 'dumb blonde' moment. (No offence meant to anyone - I am female and, well, light brown!)

"Sorry, don't understand you" (repeat a few times) "Windows? How can you tell my windows are dirty?" "Surfing? It's pouring with rain; I don't want to get wet and, besides, I'm too old for that!" "Yes, I'm the main user" (only one, actually!) "What do I do with computer? Well, I switch it on ..., and I switch it off...!"

Disbelievingly, all of the questions are put again - so, gave same answers

After quite a while, HE hung up!!! I was disappointed as I was having a good time.

I've only had one further call from them. I tried challenging him. Told him I was aware of the scam; there was no way he could know about my computer etc. He even gave me a number to call back on - was Microsoft's phone number!!! They're cute, eh? When I said I had a Mac, he told me I was lying!!! What a cheek! Actually, I have PC, though.

Think I will claim to run Ubuntu next time ...

  lotvic 00:51 AM 26 May 11

If you had a Mac, you wouldn't get wet when surfing... so end of prob :)

  spuds 10:05 AM 26 May 11

If the problem is a worry for you, then you could perhaps log the issue with the NFIB?.

  palinka 11:22 AM 29 May 11

I have a 3-pronged “solution” to this problem : 1. subscribe (it’s free) to TPS and that will reduce the number of calls of this nature; but it doesn’t stop them all, not by a long way. 2. Get a phone that can show the number of the person phoning you and use BT’s system that shows the numbers & don’t answer any that say “unavailable” instead of the number . 3. finally, subscribe (alas, you have to pay for this one) to BT’s “barring withheld calls” . We had been TPS’d for years but we still received unwanted calls – often from call centres – eventually we adopted the policy of picking up the phone and making no sound at all if we didn’t recognise the number or recognise it as one from within a certain range of numbers; within a few seconds the caller would hang up. But we had still been disturbed in whatever we were doing. When we reached the stage at which we were getting as many as 6 such calls a day we decided to pay for “barring withheld calls” – and within a few days our phone was blissfully silent. We still receive the occasional “unavailable” call (maybe twice a week) and we simply don’t answer – BT say such calls are mostly overseas calls & outside their control.


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