<<< 1) How do I access the programs on my main pc, can i copy them across to the laptop - thinking specifically of accessing MS Office, outlook, excel, word - want access to my inbox and all my docs >>>
You cannot run *programs* installed in the remote computer over the network in the local computer. You can open Excel, Word etc files stored in the remote PC, but a copy of the program itself must also be installed in the *local* PC.
<<< 2) Have Norton installed on my main pc - do i need to install it on my laptop as well. How do i do this, was downloaded from the net on my main pc. >>>
With a router, internet access for both PCs is via the router so whatever Norton applications you have in one PC offer no protection to a second PC. As far as I'm aware, all current Norton products require "Product Activation" so you would need to purchase a second copy to be able to run it in the new laptop. Alternatively, use one of the several "free" applications, whether AntiVirus or Firewall.
<<< 3) Any other security questions I need to address. >>>
You need to enable WEP or WPA encryption, and possibly also MAC Address Filtering, to prevent unwanted access to your wireless network.
<<< How do I access other stuff I have on main pc - thinking specifically of my betting accounts and poker sites !! >>>
You don't! ;-)