msn messenger spy

  pharte 21:36 18 Nov 03
Locked

Is there a way to check on my kids msn sessions and what they are up to remotely or will I have to download a prog onto their comp and check it at a later date.

also the best prog to do this without them knowing.

I do not know their passwords either.

TIA

Paul

  Forum Editor 21:49 18 Nov 03

are you happy that this is the way to handle your obvious concern? I'm the first person to agree that the Internet can be a dark and dangerous place for the unwary, and as a parent myself I wholeheartedly support your admirable desire to protect your children from harm.

My experience however, is that if they suspect subterfuge children can react by becoming secretive, and that's the last thing you want. You don't mention the ages of your children, but perhaps a chat about why you feel worried might help a lot. Children like the feeling that they are being protected by parents, but they have a natural and healthy desire for independence, and if they are at all computer literate they'll soon find a way to beat your system anyway.

Please forgive me if I sound at all intrusive - it's for you to decide how to raise your children - but I have some experience of advising a large national institution on how to protect the children of their employees when they go online. So many people with children work at this establishment that they have an onsite school for juniors, and I advised them on this very subject. They have found that talking frankly to the kids about the dangers, and why they (teachers and parents) might seem overly protective, has been well-received by the children.

It's horses for courses though, and you are obviously the best judge of what's right in your circumstances.

  VoG II 21:59 18 Nov 03

Agree with the FE wholeheartedly. Do you check their diaries, scrapbooks etc.?

I think that you need to have a chat with them and explain the dangers of "grooming" etc. in language appropriate to their age.

I've done that with my 15 year old daughter who I allow "unlimited" access but with appropriate warnings. A fair while ago she told me about somebody she had met on messenger who claimed to be a girl of her own age and wanted all of my daughter's e-mail contacts. I think - because of the openness between us - she asked my advice - which was that the person was probably not who they pretended to be. The result was that the intruder was told firmly to go (not by me) in language that I could not possibly repeat here.

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