You don't say what phone you are trying to connect. To tether a mobile phone to a laptop you need a cable to connect to the data port on your phone and a usb port on your laptop- you probably have one as it is the cable used to update your phone via your pc. On my Blackberry I have to use a Blackberry Desktop Manager to connect my phone to the laptop. It is then very straightforward to connect.
When you say you get a message ipv4 connectivity, no network access media state: Enabled, do you mean this is the message you get on your PC? This could refer to the fact that your PC is not connected to your home network wirelessly.