" Ronalddonald, please don't suggest Linux mint!"
You owe me a new screen cleaner as it's dripping with the coffee I was trying to drink!!
Have you tried to get to the bios when booting up. On my systems it's tapping the delete key. Yours might be different. If you can see if you can enable usb in DOS or something similar to your set-up. Just be carefull and if you set it to enable press enter then in the 'home' screen select yes to save and exit. Key functions shows at bottom of screen.