Most DVD players will take both +&-R disks these days, but some of the early players took one or the other - the most common being the + format. The manual for your player will tell you which formats it will play - almost certainly +R/RW will be included.
A good commercial burning software is Nero, but there are others.
It could be that your problem is the media you are using. Cheap media is regularly rejected by some players (I think Sony has been cited) so a good quality media is important.
Check out this site using a search and you will see what I mean.