I'll tell you. It's Glasgow. Yup, the jewel on the Clyde has been named as the worst city in the UK for mobile phone theft. (Or the best, if you happen to be a thief with a penchant for mobile communications devices). Things have clearly gone downhill since Taggart shuffled off.

Results of research carried out by insurance firm CPP reveal that almost one in three people has had a mobile phone stolen in the Scots city. One in three? Who's got them all? Surely not everyone in Glasgow has a mobile phone? Or are they buying them from thieves? I suspect some kind of weird mobile-phone merry-go-round.

In less shocking news, nearly one in five thefts occurred when phones were snatched from bags or stolen in Glasgow's nightspots. Now I've been to Glasgow, and it's a brilliant place largely because every second building is a nightspot, so this makes sense.

A total of 3,500 people in cities across Britain took part in the CPP survey. Belfast and Liverpool finished close behind Glasgow as theft hot spots. London trailed in a disappointing fifth behind... wait for it... Chelmsford, but can console itself with something called the Olympics.

The survey results show that more than half of people questioned said they knew of someone who had reported their phone stolen.

People were most likely to be targeted when they were in a crowd at night, with nearly a quarter of victims saying their phones were stolen while in a bar. So (best Fluff Freedman voice) here, pop pickers, is the list of the best/worst places to get your phone nicked. The only table you'll see this week with Leeds in eight place.

Top 10 cities for mobile phone theft:

  • 1. Glasgow
  • 2. Belfast
  • 3. Liverpool
  • 4. Chelmsford
  • 5. London
  • 6. Bristol
  • 7. Manchester
  • 8. Leeds
  • 9. Sheffield
  • 10. Cambridge