Personally, I think a set of white earphones is enough to mark an individual out as a bit of a plonker, but for some people that's not going nearly far enough.

According to PC Advisor's sister title Macworld, clothing maker Bagir is going to make an iPod suit.

Don't get me wrong. This isn't going to be a normal suit with an iPod pattern on it. Nor is it going to be an enormous iPod shaped costume that a desperate actor might be forced to wear outside an Apple store on the whim of a particularly cruel (or bored) marketing bod to earn a crust before the next fast food advert comes along.

It's actually going to be a tailored iPod suit, with a five-button control panel integrated into the lapel. It is, apparently, machine-washable and wrinkle resistant. It'll come in five colours (I'm not sure if white is one of them, but I really hope not) and will be sold at M&S for around £149.

If any friends or relatives of mine are reading this and are thinking of buying me one for Christmas - I'd much rather the money, thanks all the same.