Apple is at it again - inviting the press to a secret product launch (next Tuesday).

Well, not that secret - as they invited the press.

And even less secret as the invite cryptically proclaims: "Mum is no longer the word".

Rumours abound as to the subject of the launch.

Rumour number 1: Apple is set to launch the iPhone in the UK Quite possible. It fits the dates we have been discussing for some time now. But what has "Mum" got to do with it? Is it because the iPhone is hardly going to be a shock, as US early adopters have been using theirs for months. The only shock is likely to be the price.

Rumour number 2: Apple gets The Beatles on to iTunes... finally Again, this will happen someday. And "Mum" is less of a mystery. 'Mother Nature's Son'? 'Your Mother Should Know'? 'Julia'? 'That's All Right (Mama)'? "Here Comes the Mum'?

Rumour number 3: Movie downloads on UK iTunes Another inevitability some time this year. And there are loads of films with mums in. Nearly all of them.

Rumour number 4: Mac OS X 10.5 Leopard released Yet again, another definite around this time - but would be slightly early. Er, unlike Vista. Nature programmes always discuss animal mothers as "mum" despite them having massive sharp teeth and being able to run at 72mph. Mind you, more mums than dads wear Leopard-skin patterned clothes.

Rumour number 5: iPod touch available! Boring! Even my mum has heard of the iPod touch. Wait a minute...

Apple cooler than ladies knickers